When there’s a fire, you stop, drop, and roll. When there’s a Chuck Norris, you stop, drop, and die.
We don’t know if Chuck Norris enjoys a good fight. He’s never had one.
Chuck Norris bites the hand that feeds him?and eats their entrails.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A Chuck Norris a day kills.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
Chuck Norris uses red hot lava to moisturize his skin.
Chuck Norris invented the apple.
Chuck Norris Built Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.
Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it’s just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.
Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick.
Yeah. That’s Chuck Norris.
MGM and the WWE are teaming to develop a direct-to-DVD remake of the Chuck Norris 1984 Vietnam pic “Missing in Action” says The Hollywood Reporter.
The original centered on Col. James Braddock (Norris), a POW of the Viet Cong who escapes Southeast Asia and heads back to liberate other U.S. captives. A prequel and a sequel were released in the following four years.
Jeremy Passmore, who also is penning MGM’s “Red Dawn” theatrical remake, is on board to write the script with partner Andre Fabrizio.
The new film will be updated to reflect modern military realities and will be set during the current Iraq War. Andrew Stevens (“Heist”) will produce.
Now who on Earth would be able, or indeed have the guts, to replace Chuck Norris?